Last updated on July 19th, 2022 at 12:04 pm
I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore. It is a frightening statement that you thought would never cross your mind. However, you have found yourself here. You’re likely questioning what is happening to you and embarrassed by your lack of desire for physical contact.
However, as someone who has been in the same circumstance, I can guarantee you that it is not as uncommon as you think.
Your craving for consistent affection and physical connection are at their peak at the start of your marriage. You only want to go on dinner dates, kiss, hold hands, and shower your husband with love in every manner possible. However, this perfect ideal feeling fades in time, and the harsh reality hits you.
But guess what? That is completely natural!
Thus, if you are having trouble coping with life’s ups and downs, are confused with your emotions, or have low self-esteem, I will be happy to help you.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Choosing to recognize a problem and trying to resolve it is always a good thing to do.
You might be feeling puzzled and distressed right now, and that is why I encourage you to keep reading. I will show you how to conquer this challenge below and get over the feeling of, “I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore.”
Restoring Your Desire For Intimacy With Your Husband
If you have been feeling that you don’t want your husband to touch your anymore, then you can try following these 10 tips to help you overcome these feelings and restore your desire for intimacy.
1. Speak your mind
First of all, work on improving your communication with your husband. That is where everything ends and begins. Communication can either be the best or worst thing about your marriage and it is your decision on what it’s going to be.
You are currently thinking that “I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore” and you are not sure why.
However, you can never solve the problem unless you talk about it.
Give your partner the opportunity to help you. You are both involved in this problem and sure enough, he is also concerned by your lack of desire for physical contact.As a BetterHelp afﬁliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided.
2. Spend quality time and reconnect with your husband.
Recall the very first time you told him you loved him and all the feelings and sensations that came with it, including everything that happened after that.
Strive to restore those emotions. Ponder why you were attracted to him in the first place. Concentrate on the positive aspects of your relationship. Think back to how he was always by your side throughout the years, the way he made you feel loved by surprising you on your anniversary, and many other things like that.
Make it a habit to set time for just the two of you. There will be no discussion of children, money, problems, or responsibilities. Only two lovers rekindling their romance.
3. Set apart the time for intimacy and the time for solving problems.
Focus on restoring your intimacy rather than talking about your bills to pay. Resolving conflicts has its own time and place. Do not allow it to interfere with your intimate time together.
Your drive for foreplay will return once you’ve found that balance, and you will find cuddling and kissing exciting again.
Talk to him about your biggest turn-ons and get down to business.
Do not let a minor problem or annoyance keep you from living in the moment. You can never be truly happy if you will spend most of your time whining about your problems.
Sometimes, it is better to just ignore your problems and make love with your husband instead!
4. Hug and hold each other’s hands regularly.
Your husband is ideally your best friend. Make him feel that connection by holding his hand whenever possible. Give him a hug more often than before.
Never let things that can be addressed get in the way of your physical intimacy.
It is surprising how a simple sincere hug from a loved one can have a remarkable positive impact on you. Start with small gestures. Take his hand in yours, lean in close, hug him, and take it from there. Little by little, rekindle that spark, and perhaps you’ll realize how much you have been missing your physical connection after all.
5. Individually improve your self-esteem.
How can your husband help you if he is unaware of your low self-confidence? Allow him to understand your inner conflicts and struggles and focus on resolving them. Your self-esteem is a vital part of your personality. You’ll have to look deeply to figure out what has been dragging you down.
Determine the main source of your problem. It can be a stressful job, terrible breakups, or horrible experiences from the past. You can begin working on the problem once you’ve figured out what’s causing it.
Do not make your marriage suffer as a result of your unwillingness to undergo some necessary healing process.
6. Cooperate and stop blaming each other.
You are both in this together after all. It is never you versus your husband. It is the both of you versus the problem. This is perhaps the most crucial point that you need to remember. You cannot keep blaming and accusing your husband and claim innocence for yourself in every situation. There must be mutual agreement and a willingness from both parties to take responsibility. That is the quickest way to fix your intimacy troubles.
Sometimes, when I do not want to be touched by my husband, even if I think that it is all his fault for making me feel that way, I never blamed him for everything.
You must recognize your contribution to the problem if you want to resolve it.
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7. Become more emotionally vulnerable.
I know it is hard. Even if it’s your spouse, opening up and becoming vulnerable is still not an easy feat. I completely understand how challenging it is to be vulnerable after going through so many horrible and toxic breakups.
However, you have to take a chance at some point. You must trust that he is looking out for your best interests, and most of the time, he likely does.
Make an effort to be emotionally vulnerable. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and honest in saying and revealing how you truly feel. Even if you are afraid and might think that he won’t respond. Remember, it is just your brain messing with you. Give your husband the benefit of doubt. He loves and adores you and would most likely go to great lengths to help you.
8. Share household chores evenly to relieve mental stress.
The traditional view of marriage expects the wife to do all the house chores however, it can be hard to desire physical intimacy from your husband if you are already too worked up cleaning your house and doing the laundry all by yourself.
However, this problem is very easy to solve. Just make him contribute to the housework. It can’t be that hard!
If there is anything you’d rather do yourself, then continue doing it and delegate tasks that he is capable of doing. In that way, you will be able to work together as a team so at the end of the day you won’t end up too stressed or tired.
This setup sounds good, doesn’t it? It is also his home. So, it is just reasonable that he contributes to the chores too.
9. Do not be hesitant to inform your husband about your preferences in bed.
Unsurprisingly, many problems in marriages and relationships in general stem from this. It is difficult to inform your partner that what they are on about is not working for you. Real intimacy grows through talking about these things. If not your husband, then who are you going to talk about this with?
Stop acting as if this is your first with your husband. You have probably been doing it for years already, so you need to learn how to talk to him about these things. I can assure you that he would be devastated if he found out you have been dissatisfied with your sex life and never let him know about it.
So, reignite that spark that had always been there by being upfront about your interests. Enjoy the real deal with the help of simple talk rather than turning into a toxic marital affair and the world of fantasy.
10. Get help from a professional therapist.
Finally, if you and your partner can’t seem to find solutions on your own, it is better to seek professional help. Take note that you do not need to feel embarrassed about admitting that you need help. You will be surprised to see how many married couples visit a therapist regularly. They just don’t say anything about it.
Rather than being afraid of this process, see it as an opportunity to improve your marriage. They will aid you in restoring your intimacy by helping you find a more appropriate and healthier way of communication.
I believe you will see how great therapy is after a few sessions. With a small push in the correct direction, your therapist will help you realize that you can work things out. BetterHelp is a great place to get help with marriage and intimacy issues. They have thousands of trained therapists ready to help.As a BetterHelp afﬁliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided.