Updated: 03/20/2024
Unfortunately, we are not taught how to discern when a therapist isn’t a good fit for us. You likely don’t know how to tell if your therapist doesn’t like you. A great therapist who gets you can completely change your life. However, dealing with the wrong therapist might leave us with more emotional wounds than when we first entered their office because we are frequently at a low point when we seek treatment. While some people can recover quickly after a negative therapy experience, others might dwell on it and place the blame for what went wrong on themselves.
In general, you would presume that all therapists are objective, sympathetic professionals who are open-minded. There are effective therapists and ineffective therapists, just like in any other profession. This post is not meant to dissuade you from getting support or to disparage the counseling industry as a whole. In fact, most people claim that treatment has helped them heal and change their lives.
There are many well-meaning therapists who really assist patients in overcoming their difficulties. However, not every therapist will be a good fit for you. This is particularly important if you think your therapist hates you. Continue reading to find out what warning signs to look out for and learn how to tell if your therapist doesn’t like you.
Read: What Is The 988 Mental Health Hotline
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7 Warning Signs That Your Therapist Doesn’t Like You
The last thing you feel like doing when you’re depressed is firing your therapist. (Wasn’t the point of seeing your shrink to feel better?) But just as in any other type of relationship, not everything goes as planned. The following are seven warning signs that your therapist doesn’t like you and that you likely need to find a new one.
1. They Rush Through Your Sessions
The therapist you are seeing seems to always be in a hurry. She says that she has another appointment after yours and she is rushing through your session. She is asking you a lot of questions, but she is not really listening to your answers. She seems more interested in getting through your session so she can move on to the next one. This can be frustrating and it can make you feel like your therapist does not care about you. This is a leading sign that your therapist doesn’t like you.
Read: My therapist is frustrated with me
2. It Became Tense, And Now Things Are Strange.
You and your shrink had a heated conversation. Although emotions often run high when talking about difficult topics, that doesn’t mean that you should automatically stop seeing your mental health care provider. You’ll probably be able to get through the difficult situation if your therapist takes the initiative in the conversation. However, if issues are not handled and you continue to feel uncomfortable or misunderstood, it may be time to end the relationship.
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3. They Make Little Or No Effort To Build Rapport
When you walk into your therapist’s office, especially after a couple of sessions, you may expect them to greet you warmly, ask about how you’re doing, and maybe shake your hand. However, if your therapist makes little or no effort to build a rapport with you, it can be a sign that they are not invested in helping you through your struggles. If this is the case and it makes you uneasy, it might be worth seeking out a new therapist who can provide the support you need.
4. They’re Flakey
Poor conduct isn’t only a dating thing. Unfortunately, it can also occur in a counselor’s office. You might be able to find a better fit with someone else if your therapist consistently arrives late for sessions, cancels at the last minute, has an untidy office, or answers calls while you’re there.
5. You’re Not Making Progress
The road through therapy might be difficult, but if you aren’t getting any better, that’s fairly telling. It’s possible that you and the therapist grow accustomed to and even enjoy discussing emotional concerns in great detail week after week month after month. No doubt this long-term commitment is helping your therapist to pay their mortgage every month, your work with them should consist of behavior-changing goals, and most issues should ideally have a time-sensitive solution. If they’re not helping you to make progress, then they potentially simply don’t like you.
6. Your Sessions Leave You Feeling Disappointed
Your emotions will likely be all over the place after your appointment with your psychologist; after all, it is therapy. However, it could be a warning sign if you leave each meeting feeling confused, depressed, or as though you didn’t get what you required. Keep in mind, that therapy sessions can be excellent and still generate unpleasant sensations at the same time, but if this persists over time, there may be a problem.
See also: Is My Therapist Trying To Get Rid of Me?
7. They Keep Judging You
You may believe that being shamed is a necessary component of treatment. Good therapists should be non-judgmental no matter what you say in your sessions. It doesn’t matter how many errors you’ve made or awful situations you’ve been in. You should never be judged by a therapist.
You have the right to a therapist who is kind and understanding. Even though they may occasionally push you, your therapist is still capable of empathetic communication.
In a therapy relationship, words are important. The progress of a client can be hampered by a therapist who is uncaring and condescending. Even when someone speaks with the best of intentions, the negative effect of their comments might aggravate clients who are attempting to rebuild their self-esteem.
Read: What if my therapist doesn’t believe me?
Final Thoughts
The level of compatibility between you and your therapist is a key factor in how well you do in therapy. Because you may have already been the victim of abuse or trauma, you shouldn’t waste your time and money on a counselor who re-traumatizes you. Take comfort if you’ve had some negative therapy experiences: If you know what a lousy therapist looks like, you can utilize that information to find a therapist who can provide you with the same degree of compassion that you readily give to others. And if you look out for the warning signs presented here, then you now know how to tell if your therapist doesn’t like you.
If you’re ready to move on and find a new therapist, BetterHelp is one of the best places to find one. They have therapists all over the country who are willing to listen to you and give you the kindness and respect that you deserve.
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Hi, I have a question
Once I got cold and went to my session while was wearing a mask , but he asked me to go to another room and make a video call with him , I respected him and did that
3 weeks later the previous patient came out the room while she was wearing mask .
I got offended and asked him why I had to make a video call that day but she hadn’t??
He answered me back that she was wearing mask though ?
What does that mean ?? Does he not like me??
Hi Mahgol.
It really is impossible for me to say based on this single interaction that you have described. If you’re concerned about, be open and honest with your therapist and talk to them about it.