Updated: 03/20/2024
Dealing with a narcissistic mother is one of the most challenging things that a person can contend with in their lives. A narcissistic mother is not able to provide the required attentiveness and validation for her child to feel emotional security and love, thus influencing the kid’s behavior, confidence and beliefs, and overall adult life.
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Strategies For Dealing With A Narcissistic Mother
During our childhood, we always looked for support, encouragement, and love from our parents. It is paramount for a child’s upbringing to feel that their loved ones listen and notice them. Growing up with a parent who does not provide this emotional reassurance for their child can be hurtful and, unfortunately, this is true for children who have a narcissistic mother.
To find out more info about the pain caused by narcissistic mothers and how to deal with narcissistic mothers keep on reading this article.
Learn how to deal with a negative & depressing mother.
What Exactly is Narcissism?
Several narcissistic mothers fall under the category of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Several different symptoms accompany this psychological disorder. Amongst them are believing she warrants special treatment, feeling self-entitlement or self-importance, lacking empathy, looking for acknowledgment and praises from others, believing she is superior to others, diminishing others, being oversensitive to criticism, exploiting her children, and, even worse, being unaware of the hurt she brings about.
Additionally, a narcissistic mother can end up taking advantage of her children to proceed with her own goals and desires, often at the cost of the kid’s own physical and emotional needs. For instance, a narcissistic mother may demand that her child carries her bags after whining about a tiresome day at work, without acknowledging or asking about the child’s day at school. Thus, a child with a narcissistic mother can grow up feeling inferior, perplexed, unloved, and invalidated.
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Narcissistic Mother Characteristics
While some narcissistic mothers do not have NPD, showing a tendency towards narcissism can be equally harmful to their children. Some of the most obvious signs of a narcissistic mother are:
- It is important for her to be liked by other people, but can be harsh and manipulative when no one else is around
- Making you feel distressed for not doing what she wanted right away
- Having harsh opinions while at home, but putting on a facade for people she does not like
- Often stressing you out or reducing your confidence
- Bragging about all the things she does for you, filling you with guilt
- Putting the blame on other people for issues you might have that come from her behavior
- Boasting about the things you have achieved without actually praising you and giving you credit
- Always steering any conversation toward herself
- Always wanting to be on top and doing anything to achieve it without mercy or forgiveness
See also: Being around my mom makes me depressed
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How To Handle A Narcissistic Mother
If you are facing any of the above traits, here are a few things you can try when dealing with a narcissistic elderly mother:
Be confident in yourself: In addition to identifying her narcissistic behavior, you also need to acknowledge your self-esteem, even if she attempts to diminish your strong points. To further boost your confidence, you can try taking up new hobbies and activities that augment your strengths and your self-fulfillment.
Accept her personality and leave it behind: Try to remember that her personality and narcissistic behavior is not something you can change. You are not to blame. Her acts and words stem from her troublesome personality and are most likely false. Don’t be afraid of confronting a narcissistic mother.
Show some compassion: Despite her seemingly not warranting it, acknowledge that she most likely needs your empathy, mercy, and compassion. She does care for you, even if she might not show it easily.
Look for support from others: While maternal love and support are irreplaceable, there might be other individuals who can offer you some much-needed support including close friends, other family members, co-workers, or teachers.
When things don’t go her way and she mistreats you, do not let it slide! Tell her that this is not a productive way to deal with her anger. You should think in advance, as it can be hard to come up with ways to calm the situation.
If you find yourself in danger physically or mentally, it might be best to avoid her entirely.
Find the best online therapy for narcissist abuse now.
Find Help For Dealing With A Narcissistic Mother
If you feel that your narcissistic mother made your upbringing painful, you might need to deal with the leftover trauma. You might want to talk to a childhood trauma therapist or a holistic psychotherapist. A therapist who is well-informed on narcissistic parents can help you identify any traumatic experiences you might have had, how they have affected your life, and the way to deal with them and move on. A psychotherapist can even aid you in replacing that negative voice from your narcissistic mother that still lingers in the back of your head with a healthy one.
I have found that the best way to find a qualified therapist to help you deal with a narcissistic mother is online. BetterHelp is a hugely popular online therapy platform and they have therapists specializing in just about everything. The platform is simple to use and easy to get started. Not to mention much more affordable than in-person therapy.
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Final Thoughts
Knowing how the skills needed for dealing with a narcissistic mother can make you feel powerful. Identifying the flaws of your narcissistic mother can finally give you the strength and freedom you want. While therapy can be a long and hard process, it might liberate you from the negative emotions and beliefs that were developed because of the narcissistic parenting that always diminished you. You deserve to feel valued and, with just a bit of help, you will be able to achieve it and learn the skills for dealing with a narcissistic mother.
thanks for info
Glad you found it helpful, Liana.