8 Things Toxic Parents Say to Their Children: Never Say These To Your Kids

Last updated on June 20th, 2023 at 11:21 pm

Toxic parents are those who say and do things that emotionally damage their children. This can be anything from verbal abuse to neglect. Things toxic parents say to their children can cause long-term damage to a child’s mental health, self-esteem, and ability to trust other people. They may also struggle with relationships and intimacy as adults. If you have a toxic parent, there are steps you can take to protect yourself, including setting boundaries, seeking support, and therapy.

Recognizing Toxic Parents

How do you know if a caretaker or parent is toxic? In my experience, toxic parents are often very manipulative and can come across as controlling. They may try to guilt or shame you into doing things you don’t want to do, like disowning your friends or isolating you from family. They may put you down and make you feel bad about not living up to their expectations. They may also have a hard time accepting criticism, even when it’s warranted. Toxic parents may disregard or even humiliate your emotions and feelings. They may also be unpredictable.

8 Things Toxic Parents Say

Toxic parents are the most common type of abusive parent, and they are responsible for a large majority of child abuse cases. Here are 8 things that toxic parents say that can have lasting negative impacts on a child.

1. “You’re stupid.”
   Telling a child they are stupid will make them doubt their abilities and intelligence. Toxic parents may criticize a child for not knowing something and telling them it’s because they’re dumb. Telling your child that they are stupid or dumb will make them feel bad about themselves and question their intelligence.
2. “You don’t deserve what you have.”
   Some parents may think that it is okay to tell children that they don’t deserve what they have. This can have a negative impact on the child’s self-esteem and confidence. Telling a child they don’t deserve what they have will make them feel unworthy and unimportant.
3. “You’re not good enough.”
   Telling a child they are not good enough is one of the most damaging things a parent can do. It will cause a child to question themselves and their self-worth. It can also lead to low self-esteem, which can affect a child’s ability to achieve success in life. Telling your child that they are not good enough will make them feel awful about themselves.
4. “You’re ugly.”
   When we’re children, our self-esteem is incredibly important. We learn to think of ourselves in a positive light or we risk developing negative self-images that can last a lifetime. Unfortunately, some adults may choose to tell children that they are ugly, which can have devastating consequences. I have seen this cause great damage to a child’s emotional and mental development.
5. “You don’t have any friends.”
   Children are naturally social creatures and love to be part of a group. This can create an insecure and lonely child who may feel like they are all alone in the world. Encouraging social interaction and friendships is one of the most important things a parent can do to help their child feel validated and loved.
6. “You always cry.”
   This may seem like a harmless comment, but it can have a major impact on a child’s self-esteem. Kids who are constantly told that they are crying or upset are often embarrassed and become overly sensitive to the slightest of things.
7. “You cost me a lot of money.”
   Some toxic parents believe that telling a child they cost a lot of money will make them better earners in the future. However, this is not always the case. In fact, research has shown that children who are constantly reminded they cost a lot of money are more likely to engage in high-risk behavior such as gambling and drug use. Furthermore, based on my research, these children often have less opportunity to learn about financial literacy and are more likely to have difficulty saving for their future.
   
   Learn how to heal from emotionally immature parents.
8. “I don’t love you.”
   This is perhaps the most devastating thing a toxic parent can say to their child. Parents should not say to their children that they don’t love them. This statement can cause a lot of pain and anger. Saying this will only make the child feel like they are not loved, which could lead to depression or other mental health issues in the future.

Coping With Toxic Parents: Additional Resources

Dealing with toxic parents can be a difficult road, but remember, there’s plenty of help out there. Here are some additional resources that I have hand-picked that can offer extra support and advice to make coping with toxic parents easier.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, toxic parents say things that can damage their children both emotionally and mentally. It can cause them to feel insecure, unworthy, and unloved. They may struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence issues for the rest of their lives. It is important to be aware of these things in order to protect your child and help them grow into healthy adults.

If you feel that you may be a toxic parent, or you are a victim of toxic parenting, please see our list of resources that can help.

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